Bio:
Once a nomadic, wandering cashier, I later settled into a career of temporary tech jobs while retiring to the coastside of Northern California, where I occasionally churn out impulsive bursts of generally absurd and ridiculous stories. A firm believer in fiction-as-nonsense, I try to remain true to the goal of writing whatever I feel like writing and not attaching price tags to what are basically my private conversations with the wind.
General Information:
I write short absurdist comic-surrealist nonsense with poly genre mashup. Sincerely weird.
 
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Unwritten Rules and Robots

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

Renegade Robot: It's the end of the world as we know it, when the dreaded Singularity finally occurs and happens to be captured, live on tape, by agents of the Frantic News Network, which freaks out, as usual, and causes a lot of trouble for the mild-mannered nanobot exterminator who happens to get caught in the crossfire. Unwritten Rules of Impossible Things What if someone - or something - stole one of your days? Just one, and you didn't know why, or what they ha...

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Time Zone

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

This is not your father’s time travel. There’s no machine, no dial. There’s no telling where or when you’ll go. The only thing that can change is you. It will make you what it needs to make you. And if you come back, it won’t be the same you. You’re messing with the nature of things, and the nature of things does not like to be messed with. Welcome to a riddle of change and addiction.

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Tiddlywink the Mouse

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

A collection of oddly surreal stories for unusual children, featuring a mouse and his friends - a squirrel, an elephant, a limpet and a fish - along with an assortment of mischievous clouds and cowardly mushrooms.

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The Secret Trilogy

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

The three short novels comprising The Secret Trilogy share characters, plots and locales across different genres: a mystery (Squatter with a Lexus) , an urban fantasy (Secret Sidewalk), and a ghost story (Hidden Highway). A secret thread runs through the set, defying the reader to sniff it out. In the end, who can run away from that which never pursues?

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The Part Time People

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

DeBarrie's Stationery Store needed help again. Somehow, the part-time people never worked out. It was a problem. One after another, the part-time people came and went, and sometimes, nobody ever found out what happened to them. The newest one seemed even more hopeless than usual. His job application announced "there's a man who follows me around and ruins everything I try to do".

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The Mortal Hole

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

A collection of short fictions, including the complete Sexy Teenage Vampires trilogy, The Futile Epikles and other characters, and several previously unpublished stories.

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The Atheist Shopping Network Presents Two Short Novels

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

On a dare, Gian Carlo Spallanzini set out to discover the deepest darkest secret of a person picked at random. He had no idea what he was getting into. Even a fat, bearded know-it-all ought to know better than to leap before you look. Add a crystal ball, a foul-mouthed parrot, and a cranky atheist talk show host and you'll never guess the outrageous mystery behind the orange car with stripes. These days it seems like everyone is cashing in on the New Atheism craze, e...

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Somebody Somewhere

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

Some psycho kidnaps his would-be girlfiend, gets chased by the cops halfway across the state, runs out of gas right outside your house, where you and your spouse are enjoying a quiet evening at home, and now you’re held hostage at gunpoint and surrounded by police. It could happen.

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Macedonia

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

A gang of street kids, an anonymous radio announcer, a detective from the future, a presidential assassination attempt and a frequently mistaken narrator all play a part in this jumble of introductions to an open-source novel inspired by the works of Macedonio Fernandez. Cover painting by Delma Soult.

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Fixture

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

When a city commissioned a famous artist to create a masterpiece for their newly refurbished downtown, they only forgot one thing: to tell him when to stop. Now his greatest work is threatening to take over everywhere. It's a race against time and space and dimensions nobody even knew were there!

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Entropic Quest

By: by Tom and Johnny Lichtenberg

In this dystopian fantasy, certain people are stuck at binary ages (8, 16, 32 ...) due to an unknown cause. They cannot age, or change, or become sick or even injured. By turns experimented on, abused, tortured and scorned, they are eventually exiled into a strange prison, an infinite forest world from which there is no escape. There they seek a cure, an antidote, a solution to their problem. Four people are selected, seemingly at random, by an invisible being who com...

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Cashier World

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

A collection of stories, including the Legend of the Wandering Cashier, the roadside diner Angel of Death, the classic tale of the Bathroom on the Bus, and featuring private eye Dawn Debris in the Land of Many Things

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All Geeked Up

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

From their humble beginnings as inventors of a handheld device with basic mind control capabilities, the tech-folk behind World Weary Avengers, Incorporated moved on to develop such gadgets as one capable of recording an individual's very personality and replaying it back into another person. Devices with even more sinister potential are in the pipeline. Only a small band of software quality assurance engineers stands between these audacious inventors and your very soul....

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Dragon City

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

Enter the world of Snapdragon Alley, where every so often very strange things happen in a far corner of the city of Spring Hill Lake. Beginning as children, Alex and Argus Kirkham and their friend Sapphire Karadjian encounter the whatever-it-is and find themselves repeatedly drawn into its orbit. Is it a sentient wormhole to another dimension? Is it a creature of vast and unusual appetites? Is it even a thing or a place at all, and will anyone ever unravel its essence? ...

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Raisinheart

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

Three stories of a lonely youth. Jimmy Kruzel's bad luck is that his worst enemies are always his best friends, or is it the other way around, and that sometimes his darkest hours seem to come right after the dawn. In tales more bitter than sweet, Jimmy finds that you can attract more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, but really, who wants to attract flies anyway?

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Death Ray Butterfly

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

Inspector Stanley Mole doesn't mind a hard case, but things have gotten out of hand. There's a killer who escapes to a parallel universe, a frozen caveman with a bullet in his skull, a woman who claims to have witnessed her own murder, a toddler assassin, time-traveling dictators, and subatomic-particle sniffing butterflies. For Mole, this time more than just his reputation is on the line.

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Zombie Nights

By: by Tom Lichtenberg

Being a zombie, not so easy. That could have been Dave Connor's six word memoir. "At first he couldn't remember how he'd ended up in that shallow grave; he just knew it was hell to claw his way out, and that the taste of its dirt would remain in his mouth for the rest of his time on this earth" ... Expect the unexpected in this existential resurrection thriller.

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